The Black Flower
by slytherinslut13
Summary: Dahlia Evans has no clue who her parents are. She is a borderline squib, accepted into Hogwarts and placed in Hufflepuff. But she can brew Potions like none other. Chronicles the life of a girl from 1987 to 1998 as she progresses through Hogwarts.


A/N: Ah, hello! Alright, I'm telling you right off. There is NO dialogue in this story. It is entirely in Diary format. It also has a F/F pairing. If you do not like either of those things, then I suggest in the nicest way possible to leave. Thank you, and enjoy!  
Also, I have officially reworked this, so the entry's starting points are clearer and so that Dahlia is in Hufflepuff the entire time. Heh. And for those who have been wondering, I am working on a second part to this!

* * *

**August 31st, 1987**

Hello.

That sounds silly. I'll get you a name. I hope. Madam just shoved you at me and said "Happy Christmas." Which is weird, because it's August. Oh well. Madam is weird. I think I'm supposed to write in you, but I'm not entirely sure. But, I mean, what else are you supposed to do with a blank book?

My name is Dahlia Evans. I don't think I have a middle name. Unless Dahlia is my middle name. In that case, I don't know my first name. I have red hair, and black eyes. A devil, some say. Maybe. I prefer to think of myself as my parent's child. Who are my parents? Well, I have no clue! If you find out, tell me, won't you? The orphanage I live at has a picture of my Mum, from a security camera when she brought me in. She looked to be about twenty, with curled dark hair and a long neck. I couldn't tell any of the colors, because it was black and white, in my mind, she has the most brilliant black hair you will never see, and gorgeous sapphire blue eyes. I make believe that my dad has red hair and brown eyes. Or that he has black hair and eyes, and the red hair was recess… reserve… it happens every other generation (there's a word for that but I can't remember it). So my grandma has red hair. I like to imagine that my father loved her from the moment he set eyes on her, and even though he was older than her, they fell in love, and then had me. But Dad was a spy, or detective like Sherlock Holmes, and he disappeared two years after I was born (that's how old I was when Mum brought me here). So Mum brought me here so she could look for him. But when she finds him, they'll get me and bring me to their home, and we'll live together forever! I know it sounds dumb, but that's still what I think will happen. It has to… right? But I've been here almost nine years. I'm starting to lose hope.

But, on a happier note, I'm starting a new school this year! It's called Hogwarts, Madam says. She says I barely got in, and that my stuff would be waiting for me there, because we can't afford it. I'll be away all year. All I know is that it starts on September first, and I'll be able to catch a real train- imagine that- to it! I have the ticket. It says Platform Nine and Three- Quarters. Very odd, isn't it? They probably created it especially for the school. And, what's more, I'm taking a train to get to the train, because we don't have a car and it's too far to walk. I leave in just a day. So I have to get packing now. It won't take very long, as it's just my small mirror that a potential adopter bought me, my clothes (underwear, jeans, a skirt, and shirts), my blanket that I was left with, and a necklace that my old best friend, Nina, bought me with her pocket money after she got her job. She got married and left last year. I miss her- but you can't tell anyone that, got it?

Have to go now!

**September 1st, 1987**

Oh. Oh, my goodness. Hogwarts isn't exactly a normal school. It's for people with magic. And right now, I'm sitting in a compartment with my bag, and trunk, and there's a wand. Did Madam know? Or did they simply tell her that it was a special school? I just looked through all the- my- things. They are all second-hand, but serviceable. The Potions Book is most interesting, with all the things inscribed in it. However, the previous owner scribbled all over it. I can't really make out what they're saying, because the writing is so small, and kinda messy. Oh, well. What I can make of it seems like good instructions. On the inside of the front cover, it says "S.T.S". He- or she- is probably some student who didn't like Potions and decided to throw the book away. Shame on him or her! Potions are fascinating! Oh, wait, here comes someone. I should probably pretend to be social and not look crazy, trying to write with a quill.

Be back in a bit.

**September 6th, 1987**

Oh, wow! Hogwarts is so exciting! In the first night alone, I met a lot of ghosts, and a poltergeist, and a talking hat! Imagine that! The Sorting Hat put me in Hufflepuff, because apparently I was loyal, and would do my best, and because I could keep my solitude there. It's really warm and inviting in the Hufflepuff classroom

I've had my first full week of classes, though. All the teachers seem really nice, except for Professor Snape. He's really mean, and he teaches Potions. I think he might like me a bit, though, because I'm good at his class. But he's still mean- he made Ella, one of my housemates, cry the other day. I really like Herbology, Astronomy, and History of Magic. I would like my other classes better if I could get the magic right. I can understand the theory of turning a mouse into a teacup, but I just can't get it. Oh well. Who would want to do that, anyway? Why can't the mouse just stay a mouse? But my essays are the only reason I'm not failing Charms, Transfiguration, or Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Talk to you later.

**October 31st, 1987**

I haven't written in you for a while. Hm. Well, I'll update you. I'm still scraping an "Acceptable" in DADA, Transfiguration, and Charms and I'm excelling at Potions. Herbology, Astronomy, and History of Magic are going well. History of Magic is a bit worse than the other three, but only because it's so boring!

I have a friend, though! Her name is Ella Stauder, and she's in my year. She's really pretty and smart, and says that I can go to her house for the holidays, and even parts of the summers, if I want. I'm already half in love with her house. Well, it sounds more like a mansion. I'm excited to see her room, mostly because she's excited about it. She describes it in such detail! I'll bet that it's really pretty, like her. Her parents seem nice, too. They wrote me, saying that they've heard so much about me from Ella. I wish I had parents like that. I still hope that they come for me… but I think I could be happy with Ella and her parents.

But, honestly, diary-thing, I think I may only write in you when it's a holiday, or when something really really big happens, like if Mum and Dad come for me, or I find out who they are. Or if I get a boyfriend.

That's a weird thing about Ella. She says that she doesn't need a boy to make her happy. I say that she's eleven and doesn't know what she wants yet. It's our only sore point. But otherwise, we're the best of friends. In fact, we're friends forever. We pinky-promised it.

**December 25th, 1987**

Happy Christmas! I got more presents than I thought I would- two presents from Ella, and one from 'a mysterious benefactor'. I have no clue who it is, but Ella says that the professors get small gifts for the kids that don't get as many as the others. It was just some gloves for Potions-making, but they were a lot nicer than my old ones, which had holes and weren't very nice. Ella got me a beautiful charm bracelet and a book on how to make your magic work better for you. I got her some hair ties and clippies, because she has this gorgeous blond hair that I'm kinda jealous of, but it gets in her face every time she leans down, and she never has anything to hold it back with. She hugged me in thanks. It made me feel nice; the hug, I mean. I don't remember anyone giving me a hug before.

* * *

December 31, 1987

**January 1st, 1988**

Oops! I accidentally put the wrong date. It's jus after midnight, only a few minutes into 1988, so I guess it's okay for me to put the wrong year. Ella and I are really surprised that we managed to stay up this late, but it's probably from the butterbeer and chocolate frogs that we had earlier. Some of the older students got it somehow, but they're having something else, a special punch. Ella told me to stay away from it, but I might go and try it, just the one glass, mind you.

Do you know what I've realized? Ella's really good at hugging. She makes you feel all warm and cuddly when she hugs you. And she doesn't strangle you, either. She makes it really easy, insistent but not pushy, and yet inclusive.

Oh, it seems like a good time to sneak some of that punch. Write in you later!

**July 9th, 1988**

It's summer already! I completely forgot about you, but I was packing to go to Ella's, and then school, and I found you. I barely passed my first-ear exams, and I would've failed if it weren't for Ella tutoring me in my worse subjects. But I'm super-excited t start my new year and get out of this place. It seems like it's become even more depressing after the cheer and fun of Hogwarts. None of the other orphans will talk to me, either, because I get to go to Hogwarts and they can't. Oh, well. Who needs them, anyway?

I've had my birthday, by the way. It was my twelfth, on April 17th. Ella got me a cloak fastening, in the form of a badger. It's much better than my old one. I think she's trying to replace my wardrobe. I don't mind, though. It's nice. I also need to find out when her birthday is…

Here comes Ella now with her Mum! Talk to you on the train!

**September 1st, 1988**

It seems so weird that just a year ago I was finding out about magic, sitting alone on the train. Now I'm sitting with a sleeping Ella, completely surrounded by magic. I only spent a month at the orphanage, and the other month at a mansion. Ella wasn't joking when she told me how big her house was. Her room alone had a bathroom connected to it, and was probably as big as the entire orphanage. She has an older brother, Sam- short for Samuel- and he wasn't around much. He's 18, I think, so he probably had a lot of better things to do than hang out with us. But he's not important anyway. Ella has the greatest roof ever. It's really easy to get to, and it's gently sloped. Ella and I would lie on it a lot, just looking at the stars. We would sometimes fall asleep on it.

Oh, I found out when Ella's birthday is! It's January 29th. So she turned twelve before me. I felt so terrible for missing it, so I got her a pretty- and cheap, but don't tell her, it's not like I can afford anything better- necklace. She was really happy with it, so I feel a lot better now.

**October 31st, 1988**

Halloween feast was delicious, as usual. I've gained a lot of weight this year, going from my previous seventy-six pounds to a whole eighty-four! That's eight pounds! Not much has happened. Ella got a boyfriend, and has been spending a lot of time with him. His name is John, and is a Gryffindor two years above us. I've been doing a lot of snooping on him, and apparently he's a real dirt-bag. But Ella looks so happy with him, so I won't tell her. I'll just be there to pick up the pieces and give her chocolate when he leaves. Honestly, I'm a bit jealous… not of her for having a boyfriend, but of him for having her. They spend so much time together, that I feel like I'm being shunted off to one side. Whenever I ask Ella if she wants to do something, she says that she has a date with John, or she has to go hang out with John and his friends. It's really funny, though, because she's always been the one that says that she doesn't need a boy. Meh. I'll get over it. That's what true friends do, isn't it?

**November 18th, 1988**

Professor Snape just caught John in his Potions closet with a fourth year Ravenclaw girl. I heard Snape yelling at them, so I ran to investigate. I have to find Ella, and bring her to Snape's office to yell at John.

Later-

Poor, poor Ella. She ran right into that room, yelled at John, hexed him soundly, and ran right back out, crying. Snape looked so shocked, he didn't even take points off for language or hexing. I'm going to get my stash of chocolate now and comfort her… assuming I can find her, that is.

**December 25th, 1988**

I never want to date a guy. Ella's still cut up about John, and I can't help but feel that boys are over-rated. I was, however, able to tell Ella that the Hufflepuff girl broke up with John and spread a rumor about him that he has a really small 'thing' and that there was something wrong with it. She laughed at this; it was the first bit of my Ella that I had seen since John.

Happy Christmas, by the way. I got Ella a scarf and some chocolates, and she got me a large, warm blanket. I love curling up in it in front of the fire with a hot chocolate and some biscuits. The teachers got me some thick stockings, bringing my total gifts to two. The stockings were nice, though. They kept my legs warm from the cold drafts in the castle. I made sure to try extra-hard on my holiday assignments in thanks.

This is the season where I miss my mum and dad the most. I wonder who they were, why they gave me up. I accept that they've left me for good now, either for death or for another life. But, I still want to know. I wonder if there's a spell or potion that can tell me… I'll ask Professor Snape, maybe.

* * *

**January 1st, 1989**

Hah! I stayed up again! And, I didn't mix up the dates. Ella seems to be having a really good time. But I think that she's been nipping at the punch, which, I discovered last time, was extremely alcoholic. Hmm… I should probably get her before Professor Sprout… uh oh. I think I hear her.

Later-

Thank God. I got her up the stairs just in time, with some seventh years covering us. We weren't technically supposed to be there, it was only for fourth years and above, but the older students don't really care.

**January 29th, 1989**

Ella's thirteenth birthday! I got her some socks- odd, I know, but they're really warm and fuzzy, and can be worn as slippers. She loved them! She seems to be over John finally, which is really good. I also asked a house-elf last night if they could make her a small cake and send it to her during lunch. She ate half and gave the other half to me. It was very good- white cake mix, with chocolate and vanilla icing stripes, and some orange and coconut sprinkles on top.

**March 26th, 1989**

Tomorrow's Easter! Ella's mum sent us some chocolate eggs, (about a half dozen) which look delicious, but we are planning on eating them all tomorrow. I'm totally freaking about our exams already. I've been trying really hard this year, and thankfully my DADA has gotten better, but my Charms and Transfiguration skills are still below par. I just hope that my teachers realize that I'm actually trying, and not just slacking. Potions class is still my favorite, and I'm still best at it, and my other classes are going fine. We get to choose some new subjects for next year. I'm thinking about Arithmancy and maybe Divination or Care of Magical Creatures. I might just take what Ella takes, so I can at least have a friend in my classes to poke fun of people with.

**April 17th, 1989**

I'm thirteen! Yay! This means I'm officially a teenager. Ella gave me this really cool cloak. It feels soft and warm, but it's really light. I love it! She also gave me a cake at dinner. It was my favorite type- carrot cake! As she did with hers, I split it in half and scarfed it down. It was magical.

We decided what classes we were going to take- I'm taking Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, and Ella's taking Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures. So we'll be having one class together.

**June 21st, 1989**

I'm on the car ride back from the Hogwarts Express to the orphanage. I'll be spending the entire time at the orphanage, as Ella and her Mum and Dad are traveling all over the world. I'm super jealous, but I told her that if she doesn't send me presents than she could kiss her arse goodbye. She rolled her eyes at me and told me that she was planning on it anyway. So I just hugged her extra tight and whispered that I'd miss her. Hey, I have a reputation to uphold! But now I'm crying. Only a bit! But she's my only friend, and I don't have an owl, so I can't write to her or anything.

**September 1st, 1989**

The start of our third year at Hogwarts! Maybe this'll be the year that I'll find out who my parents were. Anyway, Ella actually wrote to me loads over the summer. It was almost like she was still there, especially when she sent me an odd hat from the United States of America. She told me all about her adventures, and sent me a lot of books- mainly about Potions or Herbology, although she did send one interesting scroll from Egypt about Astronomy… but it's in Runes, so I'll have to wait for that class to figure out what it says. I'm looking forward to this year, honestly. I got Madam to sign my Hogsmeade permission form, so I can actually go. I am so looking forward to that. I got a few jobs this summer- babysitting, mowing lawns, helping at the local restaurant, etcetera, and I have some money now. Not much, but some. I can probably get Ella some things, get some chocolate, and maybe still have some left over.

**October 31st, 1989**

Oh my gosh! Hogsmeade is so exciting! There's Honeydukes, and Zonkos, and the Shrieking Shack… I could go on. Ella and I skipped down to the carriages, and then to Hogsmeade like giddy young schoolgirls. Well, I guess we are young schoolgirls, but we don't normally act like it. We got so much chocolate. And we went to a pub, The Hogs Head- the Three Broomsticks was too crowded- and had a glass or two of butterbeer. The bartender looked a lot like Dumbledore, but was pretty quiet. It was decently cold out, but we were way too excited to really notice.

**December 25th, 1989**

Happy Christmas! Three whole presents this year! Ella got me two, a scarf and a hat, and the teachers got me a mug to carry hot chocolate of tea in. It was a blizzard outside, so Ella and I read in front of the fire and generally lazed around.

* * *

**January 1st, 1990**

Happy New Year! I hope it's fun. This year, Ella and I had one drink of punch before a Prefect saw us and put an age line around it- only fifteen-year-olds and up. Oh well, we still had fun eating cookies and generally staying out of the way of couples.

**January 29th, 1990**

Ella's fourteenth birthday! I got her some nice-smelling bath soaps, and she said that she loved them. I am so happy that I'm good at bargaining. Her cake this year was in the shape of a bell. Don't ask why, I don't even know. In fact, we don't even know what type of cake it was.

**April 17th, 1990**

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Dahlia…. Happy birthday to me! Ella gave me some socks that change color depending on my mood. I love them! My cake was an ice-cream cake, as it was unseasonably warm. I'm fourteen! Yay!

Easter was two days ago. I feel like Easter is just a holiday that gives people an excuse to eat chocolate. I'm still not entirely sure what we're even celebrating.

Oh. Ella says that it's a muggle holiday celebrating the 'Ascension of Christ'. Huh. Who knew? Actually, who knows what that means? Oh, well.

**July 20th, 1990**

Mmm! Summer. Another year gone, praise the Lord. I think I may have actually failed Transfiguration, but I'm not sure. I did my best, and that's what counts, right? As usual, I did exceptionally well on Potions and Herbology. My DADA has been getting steadily better, and my Ancient Runes and Arithmancy classes were above average. They've been fun; I can finally translate that scroll that Ella got me last year!

I got my period, too. Ella was really great with that, because I had no clue what was happening, and came out of the bathroom screaming bloody murder. Apparently, she's had hers for about a year now, so she gave me some products. I hate that thing so much. So, so much. A lot. Grr.

**June 1st, 1990**

Ella and I have been having so much fun this summer! I barely spent a week at the orphanage when Ella popped up. She said that her parents were out of town for a week, and she didn't want to stay with the Malfoys- whoever they are- so she convinced her mum to let her stay with another 'friend'. She then told that 'friend' that she was going to stay with me… she just left out the part where I lived at an orphanage. I love her so much! And, right before her parents came back, she went back to the 'friends' house.

Anyway, after her parents came back, they picked me up and we've been at their mansion ever since. The room I stayed in two years ago was under construction, so I just slept in Ella's room. It's still pretty, but it's much more teenager-ish now. They have a pool, but I didn't have a suit, so they took me shopping. Not only did they get me a bathing suit, (which is skimpier than then new lingerie that Ella and I got) but they also bought me some new shirts, shorts, and pants. It was really nice of them. I didn't want them to do it, but Ella said that I would have to get her a nice birthday or Christmas present.

Shopping for the lingerie with Ella was weird. I mean, it was fun to pick out the most risqué pieces and laugh at the frills of other pieces, but I kept catching her looking at me oddly. I shrugged it off, though. Maybe she liked the last piece I had tried on. Those are the pieces I bought, honestly. I mean, if she liked them, then whomever I wore them for probably would, too. We ended up buying about ten pieces total. As a side note, Ella has some really great boobs. They're just the tiniest bit too big for her body. I have smaller boobs, but a good arse, probably as a consolation.

Basically, I've discovered that I like shopping. In fact, I love it.

**September 1st, 1990**

That has to have been the best summer ever. A thought just hit me as a few first years poked their heads into our compartment. I wonder what House my parents were in… if they went to Hogwarts. I find it weird that I've never wondered that before. I have to find that Potion that Professor Snape mentioned! I hope to do it this year or next one.

**October 31st, 1990**

It was our first Hogsmeade visit of the year today. And Ella kissed me… on the lips. Like, a _kiss_ kiss. And, honestly, I responded. I liked it, even. But now I'm confused. I can't like her like that… can I?

It was kinda sudden. She pulled me into an alleyway and covered my lips with hers before I could say anything. They were soft, forgiving… and female. I did not pull away.

She tasted like chocolate and oranges.

**December 25th, 1990**

Ella and I haven't really talked since the kiss. I mean, we talk, but not like we used to. I kinda miss her. Actually, I miss her a lot. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and… I like her- as more than a friend. Way more. And I didn't over think this. I just looked at how I behaved around her, and what I've felt. Every time she touched me, a jolt would shoot through me. A very pleasant jolt. But… how will I fix this. My only friendship is crumbling.

* * *

**January 1st, 1991**

Hey, we're actually supposed to be at the party this year! That's new.

Well, it's now or never. Yes, I've been drinking. Who the hell cares? Not Ella, at least. She's been doing it, too. Don't scoff at me! It's not like you haven't done this, too! Shit. Drank too much; I'm talking to a book.

But, anyways, here's the plan- I go up to her, and bravely ask her… you know what? Screw it. I'm going over there and kissing her until she can't remember her mother's name.

**January 2nd, 1991**

It's official. After Ella and I made out on the couch for all of Hufflepuff to see, and then after we'd sobered up, we talked things over. We're going to try this. I'm really glad that we're Hufflepuffs. Even though we're seen as goody-goodies, we take care of our own, you know? They won't blab about us to anyone else… that is, if they remember it. We're a bit of a closet party house.

**January 29th, 1991**

So, I didn't know what to get my girlfriend (it still gives me a thrill when I say that) for her fifteenth birthday… but then I saw this pair of shoes that screamed "ELLA!" They cost a pretty penny, but it was so worth it to see her face when she opened them… and the making out that followed. I also left her a vase of flowers on her bedside table. I gave her the cake as usual, although it came at breakfast.

**February 14th, 1991**

I asked Ella if she wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day, and she said no, not really. So, obviously, I got her a bouquet of flowers, and she got me some chocolate.

**March 31st, 1991**

Easter seems a lot less important to me now that I realize it's a Christian holiday, and Christians don't really like homosexuals. But, hey, her mum sent the annual eggs. Delicious!

**April 17th, 1991**

This is the best birthday ever! Ella gave me some earrings, and I was like, 'My ears aren't pierced'. She said that she knew that, but that was the second part of her gift. We're going next Hogsmeade weekend. I tackled her in the middle of the Great Hall. No, I didn't snog her, but I did thank her repeatedly.

**July 23rd, 1991**

I just realized that I didn't work on the Bloodline Potion at all this year. The whole "I'm dating Ella" totally drove that out of my mind. Oh, well. Ella has invited me to her house for the entire summer. I just dropped by the orphanage to get everything out of my room. I have a feeling that I'll be spending a lot of time at her house, so it makes no sense to keep anything there. I think there might be a law about moving out of an orphanage, but I don't really care. An entire summer with Ella! I'm over the moon.

**July 31st, 1991**

Ella and I had sex last night. Well, if you count as fingering each other sex. I do. I'm not sure if I want to share it, even with you. We've been sharing a bed since the beginning of the summer, so it's not like we were intoxicated or something.

I also asked Ella what she thought about coming out at school. Not to her parents, because we both think that they may not react well, but maybe be a bit more lax at school. She hasn't told me what she thinks about it yet.

**September 1st, 1991**

I feel like our fifth year is going to be super important. I don't know why, but I feel like big things will happen this year. Hogwarts, get ready.

Okay, that sounded stupid. Just… forget I ever said that.

I've decided to get on that Potion this year, by the way. I've looked it over- it's in this book that I bought a few days ago in a bookstore for real cheap.

Oh, Harry Potter arrived, by the way. He's a Gryffindor, of course.

**October 31st, 1991**

It's officially been a year since Ella kissed me. Ten months since we got together. And we're already arguing. I've been completely wrapped up in my potion, and Ella thinks I've been neglecting her. I kinda have, but can't she understand that this is important for me?

**November 7th, 1991**

Ella broke up with me last night. She says that if I'm going to be more attentive to a potion than her, then she can't do it. I wanted to tell her that I love her, that I would do anything to keep her, but I was completely frozen.

**November 8th, 1991**

Snape came across me crying last night, and, uncharacteristically, led me into his office before asking me what was wrong. So, I told him through my tears that Ella and I had broken up because I was working on this potion that would tell me who my parents were. He simply raised one eyebrow and let me cry my tears out in his office. He then sent me on my way with a calming potion. And some advice: "Don't let her go," he said quietly. "If you love her, don't let her go." I almost didn't hear him.

**December 12th, 1991**

The potion is finished, but I bottled it up. I didn't really want to find out without Ella by my side.

**December 25th, 1991**

I didn't sleep at all last night, my present for Ella clutched in my hands. I just kinda watched her sleep. I had to make this up to her. She woke up early, about seven o'clock. We stared at each other for a while before I thrust the present at her. It's a necklace in the shape of a heart. There's a small diamond on it. Before she could open it, I apologized for everything. And I told her how I felt. I told her that I loved her, with every particle. I had turned around from her stunned face when she pulled me into her bed and kissed me. I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now, lying in her bed, watching her sleep. I also gave her the vial of the potion, silently telling her that if she didn't want me to do it, then I wouldn't.

* * *

**January 1st, 1992**

Ella and I kissed at midnight. I think this is the first year that neither of us drank anything… huh. I guess you do get wiser as you get older. I find it ironic that the first year that we could actually drink, we didn't. A lot of our year-mates got trashed, though. Apparently, Sarah, the only other girl in our year, works as a part-time stripper during the summer. Well, that's what she said. But I don't really believe her, as she's so innocent. But she's been really cool about Ella and I dating, so we took care of her. She is currently sleeping it off.

**January 29th, 1992**

I had to make Ella's sixteenth birthday as awesome as possible, to make up for what happened. So, I covered the floor around her bed in flowers, leading her into the bathroom, where I was waiting with her presents (a pinkie ring and me). I was really surprised that it actually worked.

**February 14th, 1992**

We decided that we were going to come out today. God, it took us so long to finally do it. Basically, we just held hands the majority of the day, and let people figure it out on their own. Bet you ten Knuts that none of the Gryffindors noticed.

**March 31st, 1992**

Happy Easter! These are probably some of the best days of my life. I have Ella, good grades… all that's missing is my parents.

**April 6th, 1992**

We had our career counseling today. I told Professor Sprout that I would either like to become a healer or a Potions Mistress. She grinned broadly at me and told me that I would need to continue onto a NEWT level course for Charms to become a healer, so I think I'm going to become a Potions Mistress. I'll need two years of apprenticeship alongside a Potions Master, as well as a few months of independent study before the final exams. But Professor Sprout said that if I passed my Potions NEWT exam with an outstanding, or a high exceeds Expectation, then Snape might take me on as his apprentice, if I so chose. I think that's what I'll do, simply because the man is a miracle near the cauldron.

**April 17th, 1992**

Ella didn't technically get me anything for my sixteenth birthday. But, she did give me the vial of the Bloodline Potion with a small smile. She told me, in her note, that she knows how much it means to me, and that she wishes she had realized that earlier. I'll test the potion it on you, if that's okay.

_Dahlia Eileen Evans_

_is the daughter of_

_Lily Maria Evans_

_and_

_Severus Tobias Snape_

_This test has been confirmed by the Bloodline Potion_

**April 18th, 1992**

I can't get my head around it. Snape is my father. Snape, my Potion teacher, is my father. I can't believe it. And who the hell is Lily Evans? I showed Ella it, and she says that she doesn't know. We weren't able to look at Snape my father properly today in our lesson. I completely ruined my potion, which is a first. Snape looked like he wanted to hold me back after the lesson, but I fled.

Ella and I are devoting a lot of free time to trying to find who Lily Evans was. Well, the time that we aren't studying for our OWLs.

**June 3rd, 1992**

I hate OWLs. Enough said.

**June 25th, 1992**

Well, we found out who Lily Evans is… or, was. Evans was her maiden name, and Potter is her married name. Yes, folks, that's right. Dahlia Evans, lesbian of Hogwarts, is Harry freaking Potter's half-sister. I also found out where he lives, through some not- so- legal snooping; Number four, Privet Drive. He lives with his- our- aunt. She must've been the one that dropped me off, as Lily would've been in her final year of school when I was left there. I wonder why…

And that's why I- well, I hope Ella will, too- be going to her house sometime this summer, to ask her.

Oh, my god. Professor Snape had sex. Gross as all hell. Ew, ew, ew! That produced a bad mental image.

**July 23rd, 1992**

AHH! We got our OWL results back! I'll put my results in here.

_On her Ordinary Wizarding Levels, _**Dahlia Eileen Evans**_ has received the following grades._

(I took out the pass/fail grading system. It's not like I don't know them already!)

_Transfiguration- A_

_Charms- A_

_Herbology- E_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts- A_

_Ancient Runes- O_

_Arithmancy- E_

_Potions-O_

_History of Magic- E_

_Astronomy- O_

Well, I didn't fail anything… but, hey! I got an Outstanding Potions, Astronomy, and Ancient Runes. Ella got an O in Charms, Transfiguration, and Care of Magical Creatures, and E in Ancient Runes, Potions, and DADA, Herbology, Astronomy, and a P in History of Magic.

**August 12th, 1992**

Well, I finally went to my aunt's house. Harry wasn't there, which was weird, but I'm not really sure I want to talk to him about this just yet. I got a lot of answers, though. Lily had come home during the winter holidays of her fifth year and told her family that she was pregnant. She said that there were some robes that Lily would wear to hide her stomach. Lily came home for Easter, and had me the day before Easter. She went back to school, leaving me with her parents, and not telling them who the father was. She wasn't really a mother to me, apparently, only coming home during the summers. Even then, she mostly left me alone, not ready for the responsibility of raising a child. However, during Lily's final year, my grandparents died in a car crash, leaving me alone. Petunia- that's my aunt- knew that Lily didn't really want me, so she left the two-year-old me at the orphanage. I did tell her who my father was; she seemed unduly shocked, until she explained to me that Lily and 'that Snape boy' had been friends for the longest time. Apparently Lily stopped being his friend shortly after I was born. Not exactly the fairy-tale romance that I always envisioned.

Ella was there the whole time, holding me when I cried, and asking questions when I couldn't talk. I thanked my aunt before leaving. Ella and I spent a lot of the car ride home- Ella was driving- in silence. I was glad- I didn't really want to talk about it at that point.

**September 1st, 1992**

Wow. I'm glad I got the smart genes. Harry drove a car into the Whomping Willow. Dumb-arse. I kept looking at Snape during the feast. We have the same eye color, but not shape. Their shape is more like Lily's- Petunia gave me a few pictures that she had in the attic. There's even one with Lily and me. Lily was probably sixteen, and she was holding me while reading a book that didn't look like it was meant for a one-year-old. I was sleeping. It's cute, but I feel like it probably sums up our relationship.

Ella is holding my other hand under the table, which is why this is so messy. She keeps rubbing her finger up my wrist. Okay, this isn't working. Talk to you later.

**October 31st, 1992**

Mrs. Norris got petrified. It's kinda scary… but I can't feel bad. She kept following Ella and me around, as if expecting us to start shagging in the middle of the hallway. Damn thing. The wall said, "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, beware." Selfish as I am, I can't help but be glad that Ella and I are safe- we both have magical parents.

**December 25th, 1992**

It was a pretty fun Christmas. Surprisingly, Malfoy stayed home this year. He normally goes home and rubs it in Harry's face. I've been keeping a bit of an eye on him… just to see what he's really like, further than the whole 'Boy-Who-Lived' thing. He seems like a pretty decent guy, nice, a normal kid. I kinda want to meet him, so I've been thinking about going back to Privet Drive- maybe a bit earlier this year, just so I can meet him.

* * *

**January 1st, 1993**

Well, I don't remember last night at all! Yay getting drunk! Unfortunately, Ella and I seemed to have snogged, completely trashed, in front of Professor Snape… in the corridor. So, we both have our very first detention. Ah, well. It'll be something for younger generations to scratch their heads at if they ever look at the punishment cards. Besides, at least we got detention for that, instead of blowing up the Potion's room.

However, I did just snog my girlfriend in front of my dad. True, he doesn't know that he's my dad, but it's still awkward.

It was still worth it, though.

It's also our second year anniversary. I love her so much. Even more than I can convey. You know that mushy feeling you get when the person you love? It's a constant presence when we're together. And it's not even just when we're making out. It seems to be the strongest when we're just talking, or doing our homework and she catches my hand up in hers as she reads.

**January 29th, 1993**

Ella's a legal adult! So, what did I do as a good girlfriend should? Well, I snuck her out to Hogsmeade and we got trashed. Twice in one month is a new record for us. Normally it happens once a year at the New Year's party. But we went out, danced, and behaved as couple-y as possible. It was just some good, clean, fun.

**February 14th, 1993**

Well, last year we came out. So this year, we skipped class and spent all day in bed… or the shower. Sarah did it, too- skipped classes, I mean. Apparently she has a boyfriend, by the name of Steven. He's a seventh year Ravenclaw, and seems like a nice enough guy.

Ha! I just realized that the Hufflepuff guys were all alone in their classes today. Sucks for them!

**April 11th, 1993**

Easter. Bleh. I have the flu, which means I can't kiss Ella, can't go to my classes, and can't leave the bathroom. Never get sick, guys. It's totally detrimental to your health. I feel like shit…

**April 18th, 1993**

I am feeling much better, thank god.

Let me tell you about the best night of my entire life. First, Ella told me to get dressed up and meet her in Hogsmeade. Then, she tied a scarf around my eyes and apparated me. When she took it off, we were in Muggle London, in front of a very nice restaurant. She led me in, and we spent about two hours just talking and eating. Then we left, and walked around this small park for a bit. Then, IT happened. I was totally unprepared for it. Ella sank to one knee, and I felt the tears spring to my eyes. I can recall every word of her speech perfectly. "Dahlia, I love you. Ever since we first became friends, I loved you. Now, that love has changed, and I don't ever want to leave you again. I know that, by law, we're not allowed to marry, but I want to spend my life with you. Will you be my partner?" And then she pulled out a box and opened it. There was a simple ring in it; a silver band with a single green emerald embedded in it. I thought about it for a while, actually. Could I see myself living with her? See myself attached to her forever? Yes, I could. But… I said no. At least, not yet. I love her, and I'm scared to commit to that level. I told her that she could ask again next year. So, she kissed me. I love Ella. She's so understanding, and caring, and pretty… and nice. I don't think anyone else would ever smile and kiss their partner after she said no.

**June 24th, 1993**

Another year and another DADA teacher gone. I hated that guy so much- he kept trying to hit on Ella. Couldn't he see that she's gay? But, I think Snape- yes, my father- set him straight (no pun intended). I'm really excited for our final year. I know it's going to be murder with the NEWTs, but I was able to get by just fine with my classes this year. Oh, I never did tell you what I took, did I? Oh, well I took Potions (duh), Herbology, Astronomy, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes. Basically, I took everything that I was accepted into. Except for History of Magic, because although I like history, Binns puts me to sleep. Hell, his _homework_ puts me to sleep. But I was able to muddle through them, passing all with at least an 'E' ('O' for potions, as always. I guess I know why now, though. My father is the Potions teacher, and apparently, Lily was a fair hand at it, too.) I'm spending the summer at Ella's again. I'm now seventeen, legally allowed to use magic… and leave the orphanage. I passed my apparition test about two weeks ago, as did Ella. Yes, we illegally apparated to Muggle London. They can suck it up.

I got a job at the Leaky Cauldron this summer. It pays well, and although it cuts into my time with Ella, all the money will be going towards her presents and… possibly an apartment when we graduate.

**September 1st, 1993**

There was a dementor attack on the train. I didn't like it, not one bit. It got really cold, as if everything good was being sucked out of me. It left soon, though, thankfully. I produced a chunk of chocolate for Ella- who was shaking- and myself and made her eat it. That's how the new professor found us; curled up around one another in the corner. He asked if we were okay, and I responded with a "we're recuperating". He seemed really nice, but rugged.

We found out during the feast that his name is Remus Lupin- like the wolf in Roman mythology- and he was teaching- surprise, surprise… DADA!

Also, Sirius Black escaped. He was imprisoned about twelve years ago, when I was four, for killing twelve muggles and a wizard. Knowing our luck, he'll be headed to Hogwarts- probably for my half-brother (yes, Harry Potter).

Man, it's so weird. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I go from having no family to having the most feared teacher as a dad, and the most famous wizard- except maybe Dumbledore- as a half- brother. And they hate each other!

**October 31st, 1993**

Happy Halloween! So, how's this for creepy- we're being taught by werewolf. He's missed twice- September 1st, September 30th, and October 30th. Creepy, huh? I'm not an Astronomy nerd for nothing! But that wasn't even our main tip-off. Ella and I were making out after curfew, and he opened the door, eyes closed. We didn't say anything, but he seemed to smell us, and knew exactly who we were- no guesses or hesitation, even. This was October 25th. I don't he knows that we know, and we don't plan on telling him, either. He is a great teacher, too. Well, anyway, this year should be fun!

On a much more serious note (pun intended this time), Sirius Black got into the castle tonight. He ripped the Fat Lady, entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room, so we were all sent to the Great Hall. Ella and I took unzipped our sleeping bags, and then zipped the two of them together, so it was one giant sleeping bag that we could share. Everyone else seemed to be whispering about how Black got into the castle, but Ella and I just went to sleep in the corner.

At about three o'clock, Snape woke me up and told me that I should get my own sleeping bag. I tried using my puppy dog eyes on him, but they didn't work (not that I thought they would). So, I regretfully slid out of our bag and into the new one that Snape had conjured for me. I saw a few other professors doing that to other couples, so I at least knew that he wasn't singling us out because we were two girls.

**December 25th, 1993**

Ella asked if she could propose yet. I said no, again. So, she sighed jokingly and gave me her other present. It's another pair of earrings, and something really cool. She pulled down her uniform shirt to show me the word 'love' written on the bony part of her chest. I kissed it, thanking her. Apparently, she hadn't been idle while I fended off drunken patrons at the Leaky Cauldron. I got her this cute shirt that she had been mooning over at a shop in Diagon Alley when I was on break one day.

* * *

**January 1st, 1994**

Mmm, how lovely- a hangover. Ella's lucky I know how to make Hangover Tonic. Again, we stayed up past twelve, and brought in the New Tear with a kiss. It's been three amazing years- with the exception of that one snag- of our relationship. You know, I just realized we never really do anything for our anniversary. But, I pretend that everyone is celebrating our anniversary by staying up past midnight and drinking.

**January 29th, 1994**

Guess who's eighteen? That's right; Ella! She's now legally an adult in both the Muggle and magical world. I took her out to a club. I don't really like that sort of thing, but I know that Ella loves it, and if makes her happy, who am I to complain?

**February 14th, 1994**

Valentines day! In Potions class, I made a love potion after I was done with the one that we were supposed to be making, and gave it to Ella with a wink. She gave me my favorite chocolates from Honeydukes.

**April 3rd, 1994**

Happy Easter! I swear Mrs. Stauder and Ella are trying to get me fat, what with all the chocolate they give me.

**April 17th, 1994**

I said yes. Ella was waiting for me in the bathroom when I woke up, and gave me her puppy-dog eyes. Who was I to say no to that? So, I have a sparkling emerald ring on my left ring finger. Funnily enough, Snape was the first one to notice it. He held me back after class to congratulate us, which I accepted with a small laugh. It's so ironic, yet fitting, that my father be the first to congratulate me.

I'm going to have to tell him soon, somehow. It's ripping me apart. I want to spend more time with him, as a daughter, not an apprentice.

**June 7th, 1994**

NEWTs! I am freaking out here. If I don't get an O in Potions and Herbology, I can't be a Potions Mistress, and then I'll become a homeless hobo, and Ella will leave me… crap! I need to study, right now.

**June 19th, 1994**

It's the last time I'll ever be on this train. It's so weird, it's like I'm leaving my home, the place where I found my girlfriend… no, fiancée now (that word still makes me smile). Ella is quiet, too. It's been a long year, full of surprises. But, I just remembered! Pending on my NEWT results, I'll be apprenticing under Snape for two years. So I will be back.

Speaking of Snape… I copied the Bloodline Potion test and left it on his office desk before we left. I wonder if he's found it yet…

As another note, I contacted Gringotts to set up an account, and I put all my money in it. I have fifty galleons, eleven sickles, and two knuts. So, I'm going back to work at the Leaky Cauldron for this summer. I've been looking in the Daily Prophet, and the cheapest apartment for sale is around 200 galleons. I'm hoping to get a better one, though.

**July 1st, 1994**

NEWT results!

_On her Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests, _**Dahlia Eileen Evans**_ scored_

_Potions- O_

_Herbology- O_

_Astronomy- E_

_Ancient Runes- E_

_Arithmancy- E_

I passed everything! And I can be Snape's apprentice! AHH! Ella is freaking out beside me. She got an O in Ancient Runes and DADA, and an E in everything else. She plans on being a Curse Breaker for Gringotts, but only around England. I'm so excited! Our futures are coming together.

**July 16th, 1994**

I went back to the Dursley's. Harry was there this time. Petunia and I were just talking about Lily, little memories of her- very few of them were good, but it was better than what I had before- and he walked by. I'm not entirely sure if he even noticed me in.

**August 24th, 1994**

Snape wants to meet me today to discuss my apprenticeship… and probably our relationship. I'm terrified. Ella has offered to go with me, but she has training, and I don't want to get in the way of her job. She said it was fine…. But I kinda want to go this alone, to be honest.

**August 25th, 1994**

So. Severus has accepted that he has a daughter… but he says he's not really sure about what we are, where we stand. I told him that I didn't want a father; I just wanted him to know. He nodded, then started talking about what being his apprentice would entail. I wouldn't have to live in the castle, but I would have to be there at seven, and leave at six. A full eleven-hour day. I actually like this, because the apprenticeship isn't calculated in years, but hours. I have to complete 4000 hours of apprenticeship. It seems like a lot, but if you calculate it, it's only 363 eleven-hour days. So, about a year and a few months if you allow for breaks.

He also told me to call him Severus. Just FYI.

**September 2nd, 1994**

I said goodbye to Ella early this morning for my first day of apprenticing. Snape introduced me to the class, and then told me to watch them (all second years) for what they were doing, and correct them if they were wrong.

**October 31st, 1994**

Severus had accidentally kept me over, so I just ate at the school. However, it was a special day. The drawing of names for the Triwizard Tournament. There was an extremely pretty French girl named Fleur Delacour, _the_ Victor Krum, Cedric Diggory, who's a year below me, and Harry. I muttered that I was glad I had gotten all the smarts in the family, just loud enough for Snape to hear. I think it was the first time I ever heard him laugh. I told Ella, and she was extremely interested. I think she's coming for the Tasks, as will I.

**November 20th, 1994**

The First Task was today. Harry's way to defeat the dragon was definitely the most interesting. He summoned his broom and basically showed off how good he was on a broom. Ella was sitting next to me, gasping and cheering in all the right places. This somehow reminded me that we hadn't had sex in a long time. So, when we got back to her house- we're still searching for an apartment- I jumped her.

She didn't seem to mind.

**December 18th, 1994**

Severus shoved a box at me roughly as I was about to leave today. I decided to open it there, and I was so glad that I did! It was the prettiest black dress I had ever seen, with little hints of yellow on the trim, as homage to my old house. I actually hugged him briefly before jumping off and apologizing. Anyway, he was wondering if I would like to go to the Yule ball with him (obviously as nothing romantic), so I said yes if Ella agreed.

**December 20th, 1994**

Ella agreed to me 'leaving her for an older man', as long as she got me back eventually. A lot of people were completely shocked to see me as Snape's companion, especially with my engagement ring, but nobody said anything- to my face. I think Dumbledore and McGonagall know of our actual relationship, as they greeted us with absolutely no malice. Although, that might just be their normal reaction or something. It saddens me to say that Professor Sprout thought I had left Ella, and treated me rather badly before I explained that Ella and I were still together, and she had given me permission to go to a ball with my Potions Master- I stressed his title quite a bit.

**December 25th, 1994**

Ella and I celebrated Christmas this year by moving into our new flat! It has a kitchen, two bedrooms in case we have a visitor, one and a half bathrooms, and a living room. I am so in love with it. I'm half- broke, but it's really nice to have a place of our own. Ella's parents think that the extra bedroom is for me. She still hasn't come out of the closet with them. I don't think she will; they're your typical pureblood bigots. They're nice, but I don't think they would be as nice if they realized that we were more than good friends.

Oh, and as the flat was Ella's and my gift to each other, I wasn't expecting any presents. I did, however, get a photo album from Petunia with a few pictures of Lily. I honestly think she's trying to get rid of them.

* * *

**January 1st, 1995**

It was so weird not snogging on a chair in the Common Room for New Year's this year. But, we had our own party in our house. The couch is extremely comfortable…

**January 29th, 1995**

I begged Severus to let me out of my apprenticeship early for Ella's nineteenth birthday. Thankfully, he agreed. I left at eleven o'clock, with just enough time to set up my present for Ella. I had gotten her a ring, and set up a picnic. It was nice, fun, and she loved the ring. Apparently, a lot of guys at work had been hitting on her at work, and now she had proof that she was taken. I felt a surge of protectiveness when she said this.

God, sometimes I feel like such a man!

**February 14th, 1995**

Severus didn't let me go early today, saying that he didn't particularly want to know that his daughter was shagging all day long. I nearly died laughing. But I made it up to Ella when I got home, with a nice dinner and some wine.

**February 23rd, 1995**

The second task. Harry was under for a really long time. I wasn't even sure if he was going to compete, but he showed up just on time. When he resurfaced, he had Weasley and Delacour's sister. He got extra points for 'showing moral fiber'. Basically, he didn't understand that the 'hostages' weren't in any trouble and nearly got killed for it. Damn Gryffindors.

**April 17th, 1995**

Well, at least I know why my birthday is always so close to Easter. We didn't celebrate Easter this year- we never really had, save the chocolate egg- but my birthday was awesome. Ella visited me at Hogwarts with a cake that she had made. We ate it at the Hufflepuff table, just like old times.

**May 23rd, 1995**

You- Know- Who is back. The Third Task was supposed to be a fun spectacle. Well, it was a spectacle, but it was far from fun. Fleur got taken out, then Krum. Harry and Cedric spent almost two hours in there, then came out with a brilliant blue flash, like a portkey. About twenty minutes before they came out, Snape grabbed his arm and watched Karkaroff leave. He grabbed the arm that Death Eaters have their Mark on. I disillusioned myself and waited just outside the Hospital Wing for nearly thirty more minutes before Harry was brought in. He looked terrible, tears washing the dirt from his face. And Sirius Black was there. He's a good guy, apparently. Dumbledore made him and Severus shake hands, and gave them both a job to do- separate jobs, that is. I followed Severus out, but he told me to stop following him. I told him to come back alive. He only nodded before leaving. I caught up with Ella, and we went home, where I explained what had happened. She believed that Voldemort was back, too.

I only have about 1000 hours left for my apprenticeship, by the way.

**May 26th, 1995**

Remus Lupin contacted Ella and me today. He said that Dumbledore wants us in the Order. I'm not sure, but Ella is all for it. She wants to fight the Death Eaters, to bring down Voldemort. She just told me why- her uncle was a Death Eater, but he got cold feet right before his first raid, and was killed by his fellows. I dunno, though. What use would I have? I can't fight or protect.

**July 21st, 1995**

Well, I decided to join. It was Snape that convinced me, actually. He told me that I could make Potions for the Order; act as their Healer for less serious injuries. So, here I am in the Order Headquarters, waiting for my half-brother to arrive with his escort. Ella isn't here- she's doing work for the Order, patrolling in case You- Know-Who attacks it. I'm extremely nervous about her. I mean, I don't think it'll be attacked, but it's her first assignment, and I just don't want anything to happen.

Oh, the meeting's started.

**August 1st, 1995**

Ella and I have been staying at Grimmould Place for a while, mostly because the flat next to ours is being remodeled, and it's bloody _loud_. But, I got to meet Harry formally. It was his first dinner here, and Black decided to introduce everyone. When he got to my name, Harry stopped him to address me. I guess that he recognized me from the previous summer. Apparently he had seen me, at least subconsciously. He asked if I was related to Lily at all… there was an awkward pause. I honestly didn't know what to say. I mean, she died for him, but just kinda left me. So, I said that I didn't know, as I was raised in an orphanage.

**August 5th, 1995**

Ella's late. She was supposed to be home from her Order assignment two hours ago. I apparated to Headquarters to see if she was there, but she's not. Severus has been sitting with me in the hallway, his hand on my shoulder, calming me down.

I think the Weasley twins think that we're engaged, because they saw my ring, and he's sitting with me in a most un- Severus- like manner. And because of the Ball last year.

The doors opening!

**August 7th, 1995**

Ella was all right, just waiting for the next shift- Mundungus Fletcher- to arrive. And most of the younger generation thinks that Snape and I are engaged. It makes me laugh. Ella, being my 'best friend', was asked about this at dinner last night. She promptly turned to me, and said "I always knew that you would leave me for an older man!" and ran out fake- crying. I love her theatrics, I really do. She came in a few seconds later and kissed me full on to relieve any lingering doubt about our relationship. Most people's jaws dropped, which I found odd. It's not like we were hiding our relationship or anything. Although, I think Black was turned on, more than anything. Gross. He's old enough to be my father. Wait. He _is_ my dad's age. GROSS!

**September 1st, 1995**

Thank God I finished most of my hours this summer. That bitch, Umbridge, is horrible to Ella and I! God, she won't even go in a five-foot radius of us. Does she think that we'll convert her to lesbianism just be being near her?

**October 31st, 1995**

I think this may be the first Halloween where nothing terrible happened since Harry came to Hogwarts. He really does attract trouble. It probably comes from his dad's side, because Heaven knows I never did anything wrong.

**November 23rd, 1995**

I'm done with my apprenticeship! Severus gave me all the books I would need to study for the test, which is in six months. He says I have the potential to become the youngest Potions Mistress ever. It makes my heart warm to know that I'm doing my dad proud.

**December 19th, 1995**

Harry had a vision about Mr. Weasley getting attacked by a snake. Poor Severus was sent to fetch me so we could get to work on an antidote… which, in itself, isn't too bad, but Ella and I were reuniting in our own way, as Ella had just come back from a long conference in Monaco. I don't think he'll ever be the same.

Anyway, we sprang apart once we realized that he had walked in, and clothed ourselves. The antidote seems like it'll be tricky, but if we're able to get the snake venom, and infuse it with powdered slipknot… right, talk to Severus, not myself.

**December 25th, 1995**

The antidote worked! I'm sure Ella's been feeling neglected, so I bought a small bottle of massaging oil to help her relax. It smells like peppermint, in accordance with the season. I also got her a book on Animagus, which I know she's been really interested in. She bought me a set of unbreakable beakers, which were extremely useful.

* * *

**January 1st, 1996**

It's the New Year. Ella got called away for work- some witch found several curses set up around her Muggle mother's house- at around ten, and she didn't come back till one. So, we celebrated a late new year. Oh well. It's our fifth anniversary, too.

Ella's been thinking about getting a pet, just for someone to cuddle with and have waiting at home if one of us was lonely. I'm all for it. Now, if she had said 'child'…

**January 29th, 1996**

Ella's birthday! I got her some really pretty perfume. And then, we went to the local shelter and got a cat. It's male, and has green eyes, and white hair with brown splotches, and this is the best birthday present I've ever gotten her! Ella named him Potato. I'm not entirely sure why, but hey, it's original.

**February 14th, 1996**

Valentines Day. It's so weird, thinking how much change the past year has brought. Last year, Ella and I had a romantic dinner after Severus released me. This year, I studied for my Potion Mistress Exams most of the day. We went out to dinner, though.

**March 14th, 1996**

Test day for Potion Masteries is today. I'm waiting with two other potential Masters- both boys- for the person who'll be overseeing the test. One of the boys was hitting on me, but I just kinda flashed him my ring. That shut him up really quickly. Oh, here comes the examiner!

Later-

I just finished. They say I'll get the results in a month or so.

**April 7th, 1996**

Easter. Ella and I partook in a muggle tradition this year, by painting eggs and hiding them. It was so childish, but we both needed to be childish. We didn't find one of the eggs at first, but about an hour later, Potato came trotting up with the egg in his mouth. It was the cutest thing ever!

**April 17th, 1996**

It's my twentieth birthday! Ella got me a self-stirring rod in anticipation of my Mastery, and Severus got me a Potions book that he marked up with ways to make potions more

**May 4th, 1996**

I got my Mastery results- I passed! Arsenius, from Arsenius & Jiggers, owled me with a job offer of becoming the brewer of his Diagon Alley premises. I'm starting next week. Ella's taking me out to dinner tonight to celebrate.

**June 13th, 1996**

Sirius Black died, and Voldemort is back in the open. There was a huge fight in the Ministry last night. Thank god Ella wasn't there, as she had to work late that night, or I shudder to think what would've happened.

**September 1st, 1996**

I don't know why I keep this date. I don't go to school anymore. Oh, well, I guess I'll update you anyway. Honestly, not much (good things) have happened. The Brockdale bridge collapsed, and a lot of people- most notably Emmaline Vance and Amelia Bones- have been killed. Voldemort's having fun now that he's back.

**September 21st, 1996**

Ella's parents are dead. Voldemort wanted them to join his ranks, but they refused. The Aurors still haven't found her dad's head or her mum's hand. We've been crying all night.

**September 27th, 1996**

Ella's parent's funeral was today. Ella keeps asking me if they know about us, while they're up in heaven, and if they were okay with it. I lied through me teeth and said yes.

**October 31st, 1996**

The Order's been pretty quiet recently. Most of them are guarding Hogwarts, and, by extension, Harry. My job has been pretty nice. I get to stay at home and brew all day for 70 galleons a week.

**December 25th, 1996**

Happy Christmas! Ella and I woke up really late, about noon, and made the biggest breakfast ever. It'll probably last for two more days. I got Ella a bracelet, clothes, and bath soaps. She had bought me new robes and a necklace that she charmed to repel minor curses and hexes.

* * *

**January 1st, 1997**

A new year. Already? Huh, I suppose it is. The year has flown by so quickly. Well, here's to hoping that this year is better than the last.

**January 29th, 1997**

Ella's legally allowed to drink in America! I called her work and told them that she was sick, then made her breakfast in bed, with her present- a new, fluffy pillow- in the middle (of the bed, not the breakfast). We spent the day relaxing and pretending that the outside world didn't exist.

**March 30th, 1997**

Happy Easter. We decided to do the Easter egg hunt again. This time, Potato found four eggs. He really is a funny cat.

**April 17th, 1997**

Hey, I'm 21! Ella visited me at 'work'- also known as my brewing room- and did her best to distract me. It didn't take very long.

**June 23rd, 1997**

Severus killed Dumbledore. I couldn't believe it. My father, the man that Dumbledore trusted all along, killed Dumbledore? Ella and I cried for a good hour when we heard that Dumbledore had fallen. Harry apparently saw it.

I was asked about where Severus was, but of course I had no idea.

**July 26th, 1997**

Ella and I played host to Bill and Fleur during the 'Bring Harry Home' operation. They told us that they had been attacked and that Moody had died, before taking the portkey to the Burrow to tell everyone else the bad news.

**August 3rd, 1997**

The Ministry has fallen to Voldemort's forces. Ella and I were at Bill and Fleur Weasley's wedding when Kingsley got the message through. We were able to cast several Shield Charms before Tonks made us Apparate away. The Death Eaters don't like homosexuals, you see.

The last three of my entries have consisted of a death mention, or something equally bad. These are dark times, no matter what the Daily Prophet says.

**September 1st, 1997**

Severus is the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Voldemort has taken over that, too. A&J has told me to brew potions for Poppy Pompfrey, the nurse. But in secret, as in the open, they don't support the Order. As soon as I got the message, I began to work on every healing Potion I could think of, including some in the book that Severus gave me. Did he know? I wonder… probably not. And if he did, he wouldn't have given me a book of healing potions, right?

**October 31st, 1997**

Happy Halloween. There is a Muggle-born registration thing going on, and I've been 'summoned'- like a dog. I'm supposed to attend a hearing tomorrow at nine. I'm going to be taking off my ring so they can't ask about that, and Ella's giving me her dad's wand, just in case they take mine and I have to escape. I hope it goes well.

**November 1st, 1997**

Well, it went as well as may be. My wand as taken away, but I got it back at the end of the hearing. Umbridge was 'interviewing' me, the bitch. Anyway, as I was an orphan, they made me take a Bloodline test, to find out who my parents were. Although they didn't like my 'Mudblood' mother, they really couldn't raise any questions about my father. I suppose that that was one good thing about having a murderer as a father.

However, it might target me as a potential Death Eater. I'm going to have to ask Ella to redo the barriers, just in case.

**December 25th, 1997**

It was a very bad Christmas. The Death Eaters got into our home yesterday. Thankfully, Ella and I had been prepared for that, and had most of our belongings packed for days- since my hearing, really. Our alarms went off early this morning, so we grabbed Potato and apparated out of our first home. We're currently staying at Andromeda Tonk's house. Only for a few days, until we're told where the safe house is.

* * *

**January 1st, 1998**

We just moved to the safe house. We had been told that there was going to be one other family there. However, we weren't told that it was my family. By my family, I obviously mean Petunia, Vernon, and Dudley. Dudley is much skinnier than when I last saw him. They looked very surprised to see us there, as were we. This can only be awkward.

**January 29th, 1998**

Ella's birthday! I wasn't sure how to get her something, but then I found this book that I was going to give to her for Christmas, but lost it. So, I gave that to her. We can't DO anything, (which is really annoying) because the Dursely's are the some of the most homophobic people I've ever met. But, we had a good day anyway. I've set up a small potion brewing room under the house. Dudley sometimes comes down and watches me. I don't really mind, because he's tall enough to reach the vials on the top shelf. Ella also comes down, and we talk. She can also help me, stirring or slicing ingredients while I'm doing another step.

**February 14th, 1998**

It's Valentines Day again. A new girl arrived two days ago, one Susan Bones, the niece of Amelia Bones, who was killed about two years ago. She was in Harry's year, I think. Dudley seems quite taken with her, which is very funny. Ella and Susan have had a few friendly duels, to keep their skills in shape.

**April 12th, 1998**

Happy Easter! We've had no word from the outside world recently, save that Theodore Remus Lupin was born. Remus visited, showed us- Ella, Susan, and I- a picture of him, and said that Harry was the godfather, while Ginny Weasley was the godmother. It was some very happy news in this bleak time.

**April 17th, 1998**

Ella and Susan had a small celebration. How they got cake, I'll never know. The Dursely's were sitting near the 'party', not sure if they were supposed to be there or not. So, I brought them all a slice of cake. They are my family, however reluctantly.

**May 1st, 1998**

The battle is beginning. I just feel like I should mark this, just in case… just in case the worst happens. I'll be helping Poppy, but you never know. Ella and I shared a passionate kiss before we left. It's not goodbye. It can't be.

**May 3rd, 1998**

I'm keeping a bedside vigil on Ella. She should be fine, she just was hit in the head by a piece of stone, which caused a major concussion, and she was also hit by a spell, nearly killing her. I was able to get to her on time, pouring Blood-Replenishing Potions down her throat, and there shouldn't be any lasting damage. She may have a scar across her back, though.

I've almost run out of pages in here. Maybe I'll get another journal. Maybe not. It's so weird to flip to the front of this and look at my crazy handwriting. I reread my first entry, and I can't help but laugh at how silly I was back then. It's actually quite ironic. My 'mum' was my aunt, and my father was actually a spy. Harry saw his memories, and then told the world about how he was so in love with Lily Evans, enough to risk his neck to save her son. Severus' last memory was the scrap of paper that I left on his desk my last day of school. Harry came up to me briefly to tell me before stalking away angrily. I hope that we can talk in the near future about that.

Ella's stirring. So, so long for good this time, diary I never gave a name to.


End file.
